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To my coworkers:
One of you left a band-aid on the stairs.

To my Pepsi Twist:
Why do you get so warm so quickly?

To my peach:
Please hurry up and get ripe so I can eat you. I know you like sitting on top of my monitor, but I don't like looking at your alluring blush knowing you're still hard.

To my fiance:
I am SO HAPPY. Thank you for making me so.