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Time to Complain...

My feet are cold. My fingers are cold. I'm SO not ready to be a mother. Charity won't do what I say. Jacque is on the phone again. We took the Christmas tree out to the front porch and it dropped needles all over and I had to vaccuum them up and it took forever. I still have to go out in the cold and put the tree in the back. The stupid dog won't leave me alone. He follows me around everywhere. I am tired. Charity is up past her bedtime and she won't let me put her to bed, she just climbed into Jacque's lap as I tried to get her. Jacque said she'd put her to bed as soon as she got off the phone. I don't get to talk to Mike much because he's too busy. My roommates still upset me and I haven't even seen them for days. I want to cry but I don't want Jacque to see me cry. I feel nauseous. I hate driving in the snow, it scares me and makes me uptight. I gave the dog a bath today and it doesn't look like I did. I want to scream or something but I don't think it'll help. I don't know anybody, and it makes cabin fever worse because I can't even use the phone. I have to work with Angie on Sunday and I don't want to. I want to live in my own place but I don't have enough money to do that and get a car. I have writer's block but I want to finish my story. I'm thirsty but the water here tastes awful. Earlier today, I caught Charity hiding in the corner of the bathroom using my toothbrush. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells. Mom wants me to go home until Mike makes up his mind about whether he wants to marry me. She has no idea what's going on between us. Neither do I, sometimes. Sigh.........

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