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Just a few minutes ago I was dreaming that Cory wanted to break up with me. He'd told me he didn't want to be with me because I was always rearranging things. (I didn't quite understand either.) He told me, and then he was gone for awhile. It didn't hit me for a day or two, and then suddenly I was super upset. I had to ask Mom what to do with the ring because I wasn't sure if I had to give it back to him. (I thought too that this setting was the only one I liked and if I got married to someone else I'd have to choose a different ring.) I thought about the picture albums we have, how they're chock full of Cory and me, and I thought about what a waste it was of three years and so many picture albums. Then I remembered that we were actually married, not just engaged, and that made it even worse.

Then Cory was there and saw how upset I was, so he told me he just wanted me to go to his web designer coworker's house for three months or so to shape up, and then we'd see how things were after that.

It was not a fun dream, to start having to think about other men and wonder how long until I found someone else that I could fall in love with. Or even if I could do it again.




I woke up and told Cory while he was getting dressed and I was still half asleep. But he was late for the bus so he didn't acknowledge what I said but he kissed my forehead and left.

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