May 3rd, 2001

S&G 1

Day 2 of "Me-time"

Called him twice during work... first time he sounded fine,
second time he was ticked off that I was disturbing him.

Watched about five minutes of A Wedding Story... can't
really watch it anymore. Part of it is that I'm tired of it, and
part of it is that it's annoying. But the bride said
something about how she had been in a 7-year
relationship with someone before the groom, and she
didn't have a good experience, and when she started
dating the groom she had no idea that there could be
only happiness in a relationship. She thought there
would always be a problem or something, but in this case
there wasn't. I don't know whether that means she just
doesn't know him well enough to create problems, or if
I'm not in a good relationship. I WANT this to be a
happy relationship. I don't want to have to start over, it
scares me. Especially since I'm halfway across the world
from my family.

I'm going to see a counselor tomorrow night. I don't
know if it'll help anything, and I tend to be really cynical
and negative about "therapists" but I figured I'd go out
on a limb and try it. Maybe it'll be good for me. At least
I'll have someone here giving me good advice and letting
me talk about things. Only thing is I don't want to have
to pay an exorbitant amount to have a sympathetic ear.
S&G 1

(no subject)

I saw the counselor today. I cried once, when I talked
about how lonely I am here. I didn't mean to. It just kinda
came out - the crying, I mean. I don't want to pay lots of
money for this. I don't know when I'll go again, if at all.
Hmm... but she did have good things to say, I guess. I
think I just need to hear them again.