June 14th, 2001

S&G 1

5 days and counting...

Once I stop counting, I think I'll be home free.
I met a nice guy online yesterday... not anybody I'd try to meet or anything, but he's nice. Yesterday, Katie from work came over and watched Duets with me. It was pretty good. And Wendy and Eric are out camping at the Boundary Waters or somewhere, until Monday...

This morning was salon morning. I enjoy having a hairdresser named Ralph. I am now a cherry-cola-head. It's still not quite the right color, but next time it'll be better, he assures me. I'm not that sure. We'll have to see. I bought Redken shampoo and conditioner for colored hair too. And he trimmed it, but this time he took off some $$ because it faded so badly last time. If he doesn't get it right next time, I give up. I'll shave it all off and start all over again with my natural color. Grr.

Dilemna: should I call Mike's mom and watch a movie with her? I don't want her to think that I don't want to hang out with her... I watched that movie last night, and I just finished Requiem for a Dream...

I want to bleach my teethies. I wonder if there's a cheap way to do it.

How come I've been so talkative for the past five days?
S&G 1

(no subject)

Today was an unfun day.
It's 9:15, and did I get anything done? Of course not. Being on the rebound doesn't mean I can just sit around watching TV and playing on the internet. But when it's time to go out, where do I go? Who do I do it with?

It's a vicious circle... I feel sorry for myself, and then I get angry at myself for feeling sorry for myself, and then I feel sorry for myself because I'm being stupid... Mike thinks it's exciting that I can finally "be myself" and not be tied down by him. But I'm still tied down. Before we met, what did I do? I went to class and then came home and watched movies and played on the internet.

I was talking to Stacey tonight, and she almost convinced me to drop everything and fly to Australia and help her get ready to move back to the States, and then just stay with someone in Oregon until I can get myself a little apartment. For some reason, I got really upset about just the thought of moving back to Oregon. Why should I be upset? Because that would mean total closure to the Mike and Megan Saga? Because I don't want to be near my parents and "friends?" What is here for me? I guess there has to be something, because I can't see myself moving anywhere.

There's a reason why nighttime is the hardest when you're trying to get over something... especially when you're alone in the apartment.