October 10th, 2001

S&G 1

Here's why I'm sad today:

A. When I left my wet laundry hung over my basket on Friday to go to Cory's for the weekend, it was a bad idea.
1. My red camisole bled on some other shirts.
a. My only white camisole
b. My WOU Into the Woods t-shirt
1. I don't wear the t-shirt much, but when I do I don't like red spots on it.
B. My room is a mess.
1. My still-damp clothes are hanging over every available surface
2. I kind of unpacked from Cory's, but there are CDs and books in piles all over.
3. Vladimir's cage is REALLY dirty.
C. I've got to run errands.
1. I have GOT to turn this check in to the bank, or else they'll charge me much money.
2. When I went to Gap, the lady forgot to take that big ugly plastic thingy off my pants. I have to go get that fixed.
3. I need to go looking for jobs.
D. Job-hunting isn't working very well.
1. Lots of jobs require a car - either they're not within walking distance or they tell me they require a car.
2. I don't have a fax machine but lots of these jobs want me to fax my resumé
3. There aren't very many jobs, period.
E. I can't get a hold of anybody.
1. Cory won't write back to me because he's at work.
2. George hasn't contacted me since last week.
3. Rachel is at a class.
F. My back and neck hurt from sitting at this messed-up computer.
G. I miss you!
S&G 1

(no subject)

Why is it that people who pride themselves on being mature and wise can sometimes be the most immature and naive of us all? And why am I, Miss Naivete of the Year, seeming to be the most mature and wise at this moment?
S&G 1

Gonads and Strife

Today seemed like a complete waste of time, energy, and emotions. I looked for jobs, found a few, responded to some, heard from none. I had conversations that seemed at one minute to be on the right track, and the next minute it fell through my fingers. (Was it something I said?) I got next to nothing done, except I sure made myself feel worse than I had felt when I woke up. I have a lunch date with George on Friday... but I don't really care. I had a pumpkin carving date once, but I'm still waiting to hear back from the other half (third?) of that prospect... I'm trying to decide whether or not to audition for the producer of two bands - I haven't had experience, and I'm not sure how good I'd feel about going into the audition with such a low opinion of my abilities - although how can I say that if I've never tried it? I guess I just don't like new things... All I want tonight is to be happy, and for everybody I've come in contact with lately to be happy. I want my head and my heart to stop battling and know their places and their importance in my life. I want to stop realizing that I'm in the middle of a game I didn't sign up to participate in.

It all boils down to this question: what did I do wrong, and how can I fix it?