July 5th, 2006

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Goodbye Remmy

I tried writing about Remmy yesterday but I only got as far as writing "I'm not ready to write yet but I'll try anyway" and then had to stop.

So here we go. Collapse )

The hours since have been kind of iffy. Sometimes I'm OK and sometimes I can hardly breath I'm crying so hard. It's so surreal. I feel like she's here on the floor, sleeping; and then I accidentally spell out "go" or "park" so that she doesn't understand and get excited, or I start to say "be right back" or she doesn't wander in at bedtime when I'm folding clothes on the bed.

I think one of the hardest parts about it is that I feel like nobody understands why I could be so upset about it. (I hardly understood myself when I first broke down in the exam room before we were even talking about putting her down.) I feel like people are saying to themselves "why is she taking an extra day off? It was just a dog! She smelled and was annoying, Megan said so herself." But she wasn't just a dog. She was more like a daughter. She was a huge huge huge part of our lives. We couldn't go anywhere without thinking about how to accommodate her. Every day is a struggle as we try to adapt to a new life without stepping on her dog bed next to my side of the bed; or moving things off the couch so she can come up and sit with us, or try not to jump up in the morning or right after work to take her to the park. She definitely was one of our very best friends. And guilt about the decision we had to make aside, we miss her so much. So much.

Also: please don't be annoyed if I don't respond to comments...
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OK, must counteract the last post with something happier.

We've been planning a trip to Victoria BC over Christmas. Because we're still pre-kids we feel like we can get away from my family on holidays. So on the 23rd we're driving up to Port Angeles, catching the ferry to Victoria, and staying at a little hotel downtown. On Christmas eve we're going to go to the Butchart Gardens to look at the lights. I'm not sure if anything in the city is open on Christmas Day, but we'll be close enough to the water that we can go walk outside; and then maybe spend a little time sightseeing on Boxing Day. We'll be back on the 27th or 28th, depending on whether we spend any time with Cory's dad.

I know it's only the 4th of July, but it's time to start thinking about Christmas already. I'm making a snowman ornament prototype, and I'll post pictures if it turns out OK.
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Let it Snow!

Ha. Every year I try to start my Christmas ornament project earlier and earlier, because usually by the end of December I'm not finished and I'm more and more frustrated. So this year it was the 4th of July that I decided what I was going to do, and today I made a couple of prototypes since I didn't like any of the patterns I found.

So here is a slightly washed out shot of my snowman. The eyes and mouth are seed beads, and the buttons are some heart-shaped beads that I found at the craft store this evening. I have some star-shaped ones as well.